This year the site was down for most of winter, and now I’m just not in the mood for being caring and all that cr@p.

So what else can you do to beat the northerly winter blues? Most of my students are in a total daze half the time, somewhere between sleep and unconsciousness. One trundled off to Goa to get his vitamin D fix on the shores of the Indian ocean, another just doesn’t go outside and stays in all day watching TV.

If you’re really fed up, now is not a bad time to go looking for a last-minute tour to a hot country. Even better, if you go on your own to a resort like, say, Sharm El Sheikh, you’ll be so bored by the end of your sojourn that you’ll be gagging to get back to teaching your gloomy students in their gloomy, snowbound St. Petersburg.

Or you could just go on a bender – but remember to set a date to come back out of it, lest you turn into an alcoholic. I can’t think of anything much sadder right now than an alcoholic English teacher with S.A.D. Except maybe finding your favourite stray puppy frozen solid outside your house and looking at your front door with a forlorn expression when all the snow melts in spring.

Or you could go skiing – there are ski slopes to the north of town. You could go ice fishing, but be careful not to end up floating out to sea on an iceberg or you’ll have to pay the coastguard to come and save you.

Get a bunch of friends together (if you have any) and go bowling, or play pool, or just get drunk in someone’s kitchen.

If your school has a projector, why not volunteer to organise a cinema club for students. Download films from torrent (in English, preferably) and invite your mates round. Don’t forget to bring a couple of students for good measure.

Or how about declaring a Hawaii week, where all your students have to wear grass skirts and coconut shells to lessons? Get your mates round as well and have someone enforce dress code at the classroom door. Password: “Aloha!” Point out to your DoS/boss/whoever that this is, er… the latest methodology from Trinity College and so bleeding-edge that nobody knows about it yet.

Boredom in the classroom can also be relieved moondancing your way to the left side of the board each time you reach the end of a really long line of boring twallop about past perfect continuous passive, or whatever it is that your students will never learn or need to know anyway. Be sure to keep pointing at the board and talking as you moonwalk back to the start and keep as straight a face as possible. Learn to moondance first.

Dedicate a lesson to hats. Wear a silly hat to your next lesson and make up a story about it. Prompt students to ask yes/no questions to find out the story behind the hat. I have a genuine cowboy hat with a very bizarre story that my students will never guess in a million years. Tell them about the ‘wear the fox hat’ advert, and explain why it was funny. Make a rule that every sentence they utter for the whole lesson must be related to hats.

Learn Klingon and use it to give instructions for exercises. See how long it takes your students to pick up Klingon and make a report for the people who try to justify all-English textbooks for beginner levels by calling the instructions “meta-language” and arguing that it is conducive to learning vital vocabulary and expressions like “underline the verbs in the sentence”, “put the sentences in the right order”, and so on.

Invite a teacher of a 3rd language (preferably with a completely unfamiliar alphabet) that nobody (including you) knows anything about (Klingon, for example) to come and give a lesson without using anyone’s L1 or L2. See how long it takes for you and your students to become enthusiastic about L3. Write it off as a demonstration of some aspect of communicative methodology.

At the end of each lesson tell the students what the next lesson will be about. Assign a different student each time to learn the topic as homework and teach the first 15 minutes of class while you drink coffee and mark tests. Students will love it and you get to skive for 15 minutes.

The only limit is your own creativity and imagination, but you probably haven’t got any so just search Google for ideas instead.

Here’s what I hope is the culmination of several attempts to fix what would have seemed to be a DNS issue:

First copied and pasted my original question since ****** ‘left the chat’:

Robert Leitch: ******: Hello, Welcome to ******e live support!
******: How may i assist you?
Robert Leitch: Serious problem. www.visarus.co.uk (hosted on thedailytele.com) is intermittently inaccessible from various IP addresses in Russia
Robert Leitch: right now I can access it but it can’t be reached from 93.153.204.53, for example

****** has left the chat conversation
Click Here to Leave a Message

Try again, bobs12!
******: Hello, Welcome to ******e live support!
******: How may i assist you?

Copy-paste the problem again:
Robert Leitch: ******: Hello, Welcome to ******e live support!
******: How may i assist you?
Robert Leitch: Serious problem. www.visarus.co.uk (hosted on thedailytele.com) is intermittently inaccessible from various IP addresses in Russia
Robert Leitch: right now I can access it but it can’t be reached from 93.153.204.53, for example

****** has left the chat conversation
Click Here to Leave a Message
Robert Leitch: take 2
******: Are you facing problem with accessing your website ?
Robert Leitch: No, Jane, but my users are
Robert Leitch: I want to know why
******: Can you access your website at your end
******: ?
Robert Leitch: Yes I can, but a number of other users can’t
Robert Leitch: for example from **.***.***.**
******: Ok, let me check if this IP is blocked in server firewall
Robert Leitch: Given that most of my users can’t access my site, I would say there is a serious problem going on.
******: I just flushed the firewall on server
******: kindly ask your clients to check website status.
Robert Leitch: this is no use to me, it is not the first time this has happened
Robert Leitch: it is still not accessible
Robert Leitch: hello?
******: yes, checking on it
******: Now I cannot see the problem at server end. If still your client cannot access website, then ask them to contact their ISP.
Robert Leitch: don’t be silly
******: It may their ISP is blocking your website in their network and hence they cannot access it.
Robert Leitch: no, they are on different ISPs
Robert Leitch: is there a higher-tier firewall?
Robert Leitch: **.***.**.** – Skylink, cannot access
Robert Leitch: had access this morning, now does not
******: As I said I have already flushed the firewall.Now there is no IP present in.
Robert Leitch: **.***.***.** – could not access
Robert Leitch: okay then thinking logically, and given that I also could not access any sites on the server for several days a while ago until my IP was unblocked, I think the problem is at your end
Robert Leitch: wouldn’t it be really strange if several ISPs suddenly decided to block the same server IP?
Robert Leitch: so perhaps there is some reason for them all to simultaneously block that server?
******: If you are agree, then kindly ask your clients to check below possibility. I have removed all IP’s from server firewall. Please believe me.
Robert Leitch: what could that be?
Robert Leitch: I believe you, but I also believe that there should be a more rational explanation and that I expect things to work properly, and that I need to know that my site is available without constantly asking my users if my site is working…
******: See.. for this issue there are many possibilities.
Robert Leitch: such as?
******: If you wish, I will let you know one by one which need to be check at your client end.
Robert Leitch: go for it
Robert Leitch: please keep the chat open
Robert Leitch: I am waiting in suspense
******: 1) Firewall need to be disabled.
******: 2) Disable Antivirus
Robert Leitch: don’t be silly
******: 3) Contact ISP if they are blocking website.
Robert Leitch: I am not going to ask my users to turn off their firewall and antivirus just to check if my site is working
Robert Leitch: A more likely explanation is DNS
******: but those are the possibilities client need to check at their end.
Robert Leitch: I have never heard anything so ridiculous
Robert Leitch: why would different users on different ISPs running windows with its native firewall and different antiviruses have recurring problems caused by those things?
Robert Leitch: one of them is an IT specialist (systems administration, etc.), I have copied and pasted this to her, she can’t believe support can be so crazy
Robert Leitch: please kindly address the issue in a professional manner
******: checking…..
******: Hello Robert
Robert Leitch: Hello Jane
******: During investigation I did not found any problem. I request you to contact to your clients and ask them to check provided possibilities if still the problem persists
Robert Leitch: wait please
Robert Leitch: what did you investigate exactly Jane?
******: I have checked the access logs where I tried to locate your provided IP but I did not find any.
Robert Leitch: what provided IP?
******: **.***.**.**,**.***.***.**
Robert Leitch: that’s because they CAN
Robert Leitch: sorry
Robert Leitch: that’s because they CAN’T access the site for heavens’ sake
******: Ok, do you know another IP’s?
Robert Leitch: do I have to go looking for ALL my users to get them to give me their IP addresses in order for you to continue to tell me that they have a firewall problem at their end?
******: No, its not possible.
Robert Leitch: exactly
Robert Leitch: now I have been getting complaints since this morning about the site being intermittently unavailable
Robert Leitch: and now people can’t access it at all
Robert Leitch: I think this is not what is supposed to happen
Robert Leitch: you see I put a lot of time and effort into the relaunch of this site, and it’s down on its official opening day
Robert Leitch: now, one person who can’t access www.visarus.co.uk CAN access www.thedailytele.com – both sites are on the same server
Robert Leitch: please check for DNS issues
******: Your website is working fine and its not down
******: If you wish, I can provided you the screen shot. Shall I ?
Robert Leitch: Jane, I know that my site is not down because I CAN FLIPPING ACCESS IT MYSELF
Robert Leitch: it’s other users that CAN’T
Robert Leitch: and I want you to fic this please
Robert Leitch: fiX
******: Just one sec
******: I can find the problem.
******: Please hold on
Robert Leitch: I am holding
******: I have recreate the DNS zone for your domain on server. Changes will reflect after next 5-6 hours.
******: Please check the status of your website after this period and contact us back if still the problem persists.
Robert Leitch: It’s nice to know I’m not crazy
******:
******: Do you need any further help ?
Robert Leitch: yeah I need 2 extra MySQL databases and 5 domains as compensation for this nonsense
******: Sorry but we do not provide compensation.
Robert Leitch: and a discount from hosting for expenses lost
Robert Leitch: okay, our exchange goes on the hosting review sites
Robert Leitch: excellent customer service, thanks
******: Thank you for choosing live chat support.
******: Have a nice time. Bye.

Brilliant!

So there’s a great way to improve customer loyalty – completely inept support staff that treat you like a half-brain just because you don’t know how to identify the problem yourself.

******: Your website is working fine and its not down
******: If you wish, I can provided you the screen shot. Shall I ?

I actually got dizzy from going round in circles…

The main thing that’s changed is that our old forum has gone (but old posts are archived at http://visarus.co.uk/forum/). It has been largely replaced by ‘groups’ (a-la Facebook, vkontakte etc.)

Groups give you a chance to connect with other people who explicitly share your interests (eg. join or create the group ‘Choosing a TEFL course’). You can join or create (subject to some mild moderation, of course – spam groups and their creators will be blasted into the ether before they can blink) as many groups as you want and keep track of activity fairly easily from your profile page.

The new site platform finally gives us a great opportunity to depart from the ‘Russia only’ direction, so groups can be about absolutely anything related to teaching English.

By creating and administrating a successful group, you are at the front line of information exchange – so if it’s a site about jobs in Vladivostok, you are likely to be the first to be contacted by schools with job offers.

Remember that you also have a duty of care to your group members – use your judgement when deciding whether or not to allow information to be posted to your group. Remember: if in doubt it’s better to delete a message (and possibly ban the user who posted it from your group & notify a site moderator) than to have someone fly out to Siberia and be sold for spare parts.

So, the point of inviting friends… well, most EFL-related sites are either about promoting their sponsors (yep, VR neatly avoided that trap) or in one way or another about exploiting their users to some end. Many people will (hopefully) tell you that VR was never like that. It’s generally been about promoting its members.

The point of inviting friends… VR gives you a public profile, which allows you to show off your resume (no accents on this keyboard, lazy to copy and paste from a dictionary), make contacts freely and share information. That’s what the old site was meant to be about, although it ended up being more about me and one other member doling out years of hard-earned experience for little or no thanks.

If you invite your friends, build your network (be it a network of colleagues or students) I assure you – you will never be short of work. My worst times hit me when a change of job coincided with the old VR site going down. Through the old site I always knew that I could find ample work in the swish of a keystroke (or two).

Every new member you introduce as a friend is a contact with contacts. It’s the old pyramid scheme all over again, proven by countless sites across the Web – LinkedIn (okay, now largely defunct, but not focused enough), and a squillion other copycat social networks or ‘professional’ networking sites. VisaRus was there waaaay before, just without the massive resources. Think about that.

So by building your network of people who are ready and willing to exchange information freely (with you and with others) you are playing your part in securing your own future for when faeces hit the fan, or just for when you need moral or professional support.

Your online profile is pretty much a living, evolving resume (still no accents) and there is no reason not to use it for self-promotion. Remember that the rules of VR included a line (ToS to be restored very soon) about not publicly belittling your peers (unless they are being really stupid). It is largely about showing that you are a normal human being with the necessary wits and wherewithal to work in a classroom (not to mention command of the English language). I was always surprised how many people filled out their profiles without capitals, or all in capitals – I had to write special code to fix that – this time I won’t be bothering…

Which brings me to another point. You might have noticed (if you were on the old VR site) that ‘v1.9′ (I decided that it would be fun to give it a version name) is a lot more… erm… ‘cool’ than the old version. This incarnation of the site runs on an open source platform (for those who care) and I’m gradually learning to adapt it to the specific needs of the VR community.

On that note, you may be wondering where our several thousand users dissapeared to… well, by the time the old site went down I was so sick of the ‘please remove my profile, I don’t remember when I signed up to the site but I’m not interested in teaching English in Russia any more’ emails that I reckoned my life would be made easier if the site had a new start.

So here we go, six or seven years on from the first appearance of VR for teachers (and students) we are making a fresh start with a fresh user base. Yep, it’s proably the worst time to relaunch a site about teaching English in Russia given the ever-increasing complications involved, but it’s a good time to weed out the losers and timewasters that abounded on the old site. Incidentally, an archive of the old forums is available at http://visarus.co.uk/forum/ – it will stay online indefinitely for historical and reference purposes.

Quite aside from that, the new site is a great platform for other functions that VR used to perform. There used to be a lesser-known subdomain of VisaRus with a massive (well over 1,000) directory of EFL schools worldwide. I made specially when I was on the lookout for a dream job in Slovenia or anywhere in south-east Europe. Now the focus of VR is on bridging the cliquey country gaps and creating a proper, thriving international EFL community.

Many who were members of the ‘number 1 ESL forum’ who came over to VR described our site along the lines of ‘a breath of fresh air’ compared to the Russia & CIS forums on that well-known forum. Well, now we can continue that spirit on an international level.

ESL-related sites have been historically uncooperative, competitive and generally intolerant of one another. Not surprising when there are masses of advertising money to be had in a generally chaotic and slightly anarchic environment.

I say to hell with that, let’s get sensible. The Web (the medium that all these resources co-exist on) is a shrinking place. Practically every member and occasional visitor of your average ELT-related site has an account on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter or a million other social sites that they spend waaaaay more of their time on. Why? Because people all over the world crave to be part of a larger community.

Especially your average English teacher, and more so if he’s been abroad so long that his friends forget where he comes from. ELT/EFL/ESL on the web has always been a matter of forums, hiding behind screennames, flaming ‘noobs’ (whether that be the subject or the object of the verb) and general one-upmanship.

The Web is also a magical (and often incredibly stupid) place that caters to everything under the Sun. Normal people included. So you can kick as many people off your forum as you like (be it for disclaiming your sponsors, or for subverting your advertisers) – they will always find a place to go. Our other favourite ESL website will never die, but it lost some of its most experienced users through needlessly excessive moderation and banning. It will always be full of noobs.

VR was always welcoming of anyone new to the trade, frank with those who needed to dumb down their expectations and encouraging of those who showed promise. EFL is not rocket science, but it takes certain skills that most people can learn. It’s a valuable profession – try telling otherwise to anyone who wouldn’t have got a top position in a multinational corporation without having fluent English as a second language.

The self-proclaimed elite have had their day – in Russia, at least, more students of English seem to be realising that the latest edition of a textbook is not the key to learning, nor the highly-revered one-month TEFL courses (titles withheld). The ‘crisis’ seems to have reminded some people of the value of hard work, and also of the value of their local currency. More students now are aware that they need extra strings to their bows to be ready for the next ‘crisis’. Something along the lines of Darwinian selection, maybe.

So, the moral of this rant is – sign up and expand your network, don’t be a victim of Darwinian selection :)

For more rants, see the old forum archive at http://visarus.co.uk/forum/viewforum/1930.htm

On the old VisaRus forum this question came up many times – if you’re out here for ‘the wrong reasons’ then you might soon find yourself slumming it on a bench in Moskovsky Vokzal (the central railway station). Actually, a word of advice – Ladozhsky Vokzal is much more pleasant for doing that kind of thing.

I still bump into people who are out here teaching only because it’s the only option they have for earning a living to stay in the country. Their №1 priority is not their career choice, but their choice of locality. Bad start.

Even for a serious teacher, the good old days are long gone. The ‘good old days’ were when you could arrange yourself a 1-year visa, jump on a plane, find work almost anywhere and get started as a full-timer, a freelancer, or a bit of both.

Now the visa regulations are getting tighter and tighter. The only realistic options are to come as  a student (student visa) or to get yourself properly employed with a school or training organisation (teacher’s visa or work visa, respectively).

That’s a drag. You’re then tied to the inviting organisation (or not, depending how adventurous/conniving  you are) and at the mercy of their scruples. Organising official, legal employment is also a headache for the organisations (be they state-licensed as schools or simply companies offering English lessons).

You could aim to get a residence permit if you’re in the long-term-serious mindset. The mind-bogglingly convoluted process it entails is another story for another day, but the benefits would be that you can work pretty much anywhere without extra hassle, for a while.

Another issue is that the corporate clients so many schools built themselves up on have practically gone into hiding. The ‘crisis’ blew a lot of schools’ corporate teaching departments clean out of the water and left a good number of ‘corporate teachers’ desperately running round the city with CVs in hand.

Don’t let me put you off. There are still plenty of opportunities out there. Especially given that many native teachers have jumped ship and more will follow. If you have qualifications and experience, now is a good time to apply speculatively to Russian schools. The days of taking on any old native speaker on a contract with visa are practically gone. The expense of hiring means most schools will be much more picky now.

Add into the equation that, if you’re British, you have a good chance of being a loser in the ‘diplomatic’ battle that you probably don’t even realise is being waged way up above your head. In fact, anyone of any nationality may one day find himself not-very-grata in the eyes of immigration officials. If your foreign diplomats piss someone off, you might have to pay the price. Nice, isn’t it?

I digress – I was trying not to dissuade you… where was I… oh yes, if you find your way round the bureaucratic maze (or just blunder blindly through it, as some people seem to be doing quite successfully) then you will almost certainly benefit from the diminished competition.

Then you can enjoy the woeful winters, slushy springs, suffocating summers and awesome autumns (the only time of year I really enjoy in St. Petersburg).

The next post will be in a better mood. And yes, I will start restoring content from the old site soon.

The Russian school directory may make a return in a slightly different guise, but for the time being they can exist on the site as groups. That might even be more interesting.

Yep, it’s a miserable, cold winter and our foreign teaching colleagues have largely left us to shiver in the icy wastes, but we’re still here carving out a living at the chalkboard, so feel free to join up and get back in touch.